help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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