Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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