Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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