Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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