Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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