Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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