Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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