I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
