Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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