Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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