Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
too bad you live with your parents still
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
