He passed out mid-signature
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
