yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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