Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
