I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
