So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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