Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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