they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
