i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize