Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
