Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
