david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
