Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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