his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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