You're my little dorito
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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