Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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