no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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