Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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