these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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