Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
