she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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