Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
