Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
