I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
