didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
