Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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