I don't think brook has ever known best
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
