so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
