i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
