he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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