Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
