so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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