literally had 100 drinks last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
as a side note pls kill me
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
