I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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