ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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