It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
