i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
