Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
