oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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