just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
