New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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