2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
