So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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