I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
