so explain again why im purple
no
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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