Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
