whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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