Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
