i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
