Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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