I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
