There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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