Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
