yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
