8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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