they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
