paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
