dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
no, he came in my armpit
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
