People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
