Come see our sink grown plant.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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