Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
