it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
