just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
