R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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