I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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